As I stepped out of the house with coffee in hand, I felt an unusual chill for this time of the year. All was quiet in the pre-dawn hour of my neighborhood and only the newspaper delivery guy was up at this hour. I hopped into my truck and made my way down to the beach to see if there's anything worth paddeling into. I arrived at my usual spot, just north of the power plant, and pulled into the vacant beach parking lot to get a better view.
It was still a dark out but the scent of brine was in the air which meant a new swell is gracing the coast line. I can hear the pounding of waves along the shoreline, in a consistent rhythm, which meant it's a strong and steady swell. A light offshore breeze added chill to the air making it feel more like late November. As the sun began to rise, I could see small rainbows glistening from the spray off the tops of the waves, created by the offshore wind. Seeing that nobody was out yet, I couldn't clearly determine the wave height but it seemed that the waves were at least head-high, and perhaps even bigger. Ray had just called and asked for an update and I reported the good news - load your gear and meet me at the lot as there are waves to be ridden!
By the time Ray met up with me, I had finished my Starbuks Bold and had my full suit on. I was ready to charge it ! I admit that it seemed strange to don a full wetsuit at this time of the year but this has been an unusually cool summer so far. We made our way down the length of the empty bike trail and turned toward shore at the jetty. After a few light stretches, we made our way to the shoreline. The water was crisp and not its usual warm late August tempature. We jumped right it and began the paddle out. With each stroke I took, I felt my heart beating faster as my excitement grew with anticipation of spinning my board around, and paddeling into my first wave !
My first wave came in off to my right. The peak is shaping up in a V format, allowing me to chose to either go right or left. I chose the left because unlike Ray, I love to backhand ! I paddled fast into it, dropped in and made a clean trimming line along a face of glass. I hit a fierce bottom turn, then shot right back up to the top of the wave for a clean snap off-the-top which threw spray at least five feet above the lip !
After about two hours in the water, I began to tire-out so I made my last wave count, riding it all the way to shore. After we made our way back to the lot, changing out of our wetsuits and into our civis, we headed back to my place. 9am and we were not ashamed to crack open a cold beer in celebration of a great surf session. Upon finishing his beer, Ray said "Hopefully the same tomorrow. See you then". By this time, the morning sun felt warm and inviting, so I made my way to the patio lounge chair to settle in and perhaps do some writing. At this point, I closed my eyes and wondered what to write about. My mood was neither somber or excited; it was subdued by the elements of the ocean, and the playful twists and turns I made earlier in the watery playground. Seems that I always find my mind drifting back toward the sea following a memorable surf session, stifling any hopes of placing my thoughts onto paper .....
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
A l i v e
A fountain to toss a coin in to,
a light conversation on the bus
an empty boardwalk to run on
a open window; passage for cool breezes
Here I am, I’m alive !
A newspaper, rife with woes
Markets are tumbling, many are weeping
Stock prices ever-sinking, and yet
Here I am, I'm alive !
A scent of blooming flowers; so refreshing
No sound at all, a sense of ease imbues the moment
a slow swim in a sleepy sea.
Here I am, I'm alive;
Alive in these arduous times
when lives are ripped to pieces
and apathy is everywhere ..
But once again, here I am, thankfully alive !
Early steps
She lit her first cigarette of the day and she savored that first, long drag of it. "Finally Friday" she muttered to herself as she made her way toward Starbucks as she does each morning, before the light of day is cast upon the coastline. A hint of morning dew could be felt and seen everywhere as it was coming in off the coast. Andrea began to collect her thoughts about the upcoming day, and what things she'll be looking at when the Stock Market opens. The only sounds she could hear was her own foot steps, from her new clogs trampling along a damped sidewalk, and the occasional car roaring by, however Andrea's mind was drifting; flash backs to when she would occasionally share this walk with someone. She quickly jettisoned that thought and replaced it with the market once again. Will the Fed keep interest rates down ? Will fuel prices continue to soar ? And what will become of that mess over in Europe ?
After spending a few moments with Pat, and the baristas in Starbucks, she said good-bye and started back home. Andrea was smiling because although she tends to keep to herself, she does enjoy seeing these folks almost every morning. It provides her a sense of familiarity for each day. On her way back home, she stopped in front of the house just past 15th Street, as she usually does and lit up another smoke. As she started to make her way toward home, another flash back; he popped into her mind once again only this time, the memory of him wasn't going away quick enough. At first, Andrea really didn't want to think about Steve. Enough time had passed, and she was very glad for him to be out of her life but something was different. She started to think about how they would share that walk from time to time, and she recalled the laughter they shared, and she admitted only to herself that some of the most profound, thought provoking conversations occurred while with Steve. This lead to a deeper memory of him, of who he was and of his unfortunate childhood. And within a moment, Andrea couldn't help be shed tears, for there was a very small part of her life when she actually felt a sincere connectivity with another man. However, perhaps it was a combination of his painful past experience, and his total inexperience of how to handle a true relationship that caused her to pull away from him, to walk away and ask him to "please, go away, and do not contact me anymore. I want a lot a space away from you". She knew then as she does now that it was indeed a harsh action to inflict but to her it was good for him, and even better for her.
But thinking of some of the laughter, and of the deep conversations they shared had her wondering about Steve; how he doing ? What's new with him ? The thought of emailing him even scratched the surface of her troubled mind but that was quickly dashed. She knew deep down that Steve was a good soul but he definitely was one who was better suited for another, even on a friendship basis.
"No, I don't think so" she said firmly and quietly to herself as a response to the possibility of reaching out to him. Andrea started to walk up her drive way and there she found a bouquet of flowers with a card. She opened the card and it was from her new attraction, Evan. She smiled until the last line .. "I bet this is a first for you to receive flowers at this early hour .. enjoy ! " Andrea knew that it wasn't and these was one before Evan, and she truly didn't want to go back into a memory of Steve! What's done is done and there's no sense in looking back into the rear view mirror, especially about him. Before entering through her front door, she turned to look out toward the beach, look toward the Strand, toward the place where she and Steve used to walk and talk joyfully together. Andrea simply smiled for a brief moment, looked down, and closed the door.
The morning of 6-3-12 ..
Sunshine and Gray ~
The morning sun is now making its way into the kitchen as I sit and look out the back window. All is quiet as I gaze upon the sun rays intertwining with the branches of a barren lemon tree. Peacefully, I hear a small concert from outside, songs ringing beautifully from the fowls nestled in their nests.
For a moment, I shut my eyes and take a deep breath to inhale all of this beauty unfolding before me. Beauty; where does such beauty come from ? Where do its origins lie, and where does beauty hide when it's opposite sneaks in to darken and disrupt, to steal, and displace all things of beauty ?
I myself, with all of my limited capabilities, cannot fathom such answers but I do know and feel beauty when it makes a visit upon me; my spirits are lifted to high altitudes, causing my emotions and imagination to soar ever higher, but after a while, a certain fear grips me, which stifles my flight, knowing that at any given moment I could plunge into the depths of sorrow and disparity.
Perhaps this is why I prefer the gray twilight to constantly surround all of my environs; never too high and never too low. Not much victory, not much defeat, allowing me to hide within the masses, going completely unnoticed, feeling no love or any resemblance of the same. Then, I realize the ugliness within me, the rage inside that is simmering to a boil. Beauty is now on the end of a beat-down, ripped apart from my apathy and deep dispair, and not just today but in perpetuity !
T o r n
I am absorbed with her; she is deeply
thinking of me, but I tragically know
that she is being held tightly in the
arms of another; her husband.
My soul cannot rest easily, and
my spirit is deeply troubled, longing
for an absolution.
How is it that this romantic web
entangled me ? It constricts my every thought,
paralyzes my feeling of freedom and yet,
I find no better solace than in my continuation
of loving her, without reservation !
My eyes weep sorrowfully over my beloved, and
the depth and breadth of my cry is raw despair,
like that which I have never known.
Oh mother of mine, who took me to her breast,
while in the innocence of my youth,
shelter me from the woes of this world, but alas,
a man I now am, but why do I pout as a child ?
There is no life preserver to rescue from my drowning.
Only the sharp pain of the midnight sting; the sting of
knowing she desires me, and I of her but the
perils of our circumstances forbid our indulgences.
My love says to me "wait for me not, for I would slowly
wither away in shame and agony if i knew that you,
my beloved, whom I earnestly long for day and night,
would wait upon a saddened wife of another.
For me, I shall ascend to the highest mountains,
where I shall hide my face away from this world,
away from all who wish to comfort me !
I am reconciled to live out my days in mourning and despair,
as is my love, the wife of another.
For me, love is a beautiful tragedy
Alone
Making my way though the early morning fog, the flickering light next to the overpass would seem to provide enough solace for the moment as I needed to rest. There I stood looking south toward the Harbor Freeway next to the 3rd Street exit and the sight and sound of cars rushing to and fro had me wondering if anyone I knew had any idea I am here; homeless and with no opportunities to improve my chances to return to a life I once knew and grew comfortable in. I looked down and surveyed the filth I was wearing. My hand stroked through my long and tangled knots brimming from my unwashed hair. I skimmed the coarseness of the beard I've been wearing for the past several months because I haven't had enough money to buy a decent razor. I wish I could as I was never a fan of facial hair, on me at least.
I looked up into the dense fog and began to cry out loud. I felt as if I were all alone and oddly enough, my wish from a while ago had come to pass. I cried not out of pity but more out of my won stupidity. I am the cause of my past and current state of affairs when I allowed the frailties of my past feed my burgeoning insecurities, which began to overtake every aspect of my life. In short, I wanted to be completly alone. I wanted to live alone as Thoreau did and avoid human connectivity. I placed a pad lock on my heart and I threw away the key. The real problem is that I didn't properley plan on how to live in complete emptiness nor did I anticipate that I would ever find myself actually going through with it. Now I find myself reaping the rewards of my own ignorance. My stomach begins to hurt again as a result of its shrinking on account of lack of sustenance. All are unfamilair to me, except for the disparity that is vexing my soul as I became acquainted with this feeling long ago, in my early childhood. For now, I will set my blanket down on the dampened grass and sleep ... hoping I never awake !
I looked up into the dense fog and began to cry out loud. I felt as if I were all alone and oddly enough, my wish from a while ago had come to pass. I cried not out of pity but more out of my won stupidity. I am the cause of my past and current state of affairs when I allowed the frailties of my past feed my burgeoning insecurities, which began to overtake every aspect of my life. In short, I wanted to be completly alone. I wanted to live alone as Thoreau did and avoid human connectivity. I placed a pad lock on my heart and I threw away the key. The real problem is that I didn't properley plan on how to live in complete emptiness nor did I anticipate that I would ever find myself actually going through with it. Now I find myself reaping the rewards of my own ignorance. My stomach begins to hurt again as a result of its shrinking on account of lack of sustenance. All are unfamilair to me, except for the disparity that is vexing my soul as I became acquainted with this feeling long ago, in my early childhood. For now, I will set my blanket down on the dampened grass and sleep ... hoping I never awake !
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Jumper ?
Tommy stood at the Cliff's edge, marveling at the grand scene before him; the mid-morning sun casting what seems like shimmering stars upon the sea's surface, crystal clear waves rushing toward the cliffs, and feeling the onshore breeze blowing his thick hair back, and with his arms spread wide open, he felt so alive when suddenly he heard "Sir, please step slowly away from the cliff and walk towards me" Tommy turned in amazement to see three police cars, a fire engine truck and numerous people staring in his direction. He paused for a moment and looked around to see if they were really talking to him. "Sir, it's going to be alright. Whatever it is I'm sure we can talk about it. I say again, please step slowly away from the cliff and walk towards, me right now"
With a chuckle of irony, Tommy replied "Now wait a minute, hold on here fellas, I'm NOT a jumper. I'm just enjoying the view. I'm fine, really I'M FINE." The officer wasn't convinced and replied back with a hint of caution in his voice "Okay, okay but you're still dangerously close to the cliff. I'd like for you to walk towards me slowly then, okay? Can you do that for me?" Tommy didn't think twice so he obliged. The officer moved in quickly and within a moment he grabbed Tommy by the arm and led him to the patrol car. Tommy was quickly placed in handcuffs and was told it's "for your own safety". The officer asked why he was standing so dangerously close to the cliff. Tommy replied in a puzzled tone, "well, how did you know I was there in the first place?" "A resident spotted you and thought you could be a jumper. This isn't uncommon in this area" the officer replied. The officer continued "Sir, do you have any identification on you ?" "Um, yeah, it's in my back pocket" Tommy replied. "You don't have any weapons or drugs on you or anything that will poke me do you ?" The officer asked in a stern tone. "What ? No, of course not !" Tommy replied in an equally stern tone. By this time, the levity of all this started to wear off rapidly. The police officer retrieved Tommy's wallet and asked "Are you Tommy T. Gristn ?" Tommy nodded yes. "Okay sir, if you'll wait right here I need to run a routine DMV check on you. One of the firemen is going to come over and check out your vitals and ask you a few questions." Tommy started thinking to himself, how can all of this be happening to me when just a mere 15-minutes ago I was in a trance-like condition, taking in all of what this gorgeous morning had to offer ?
The fireman greeted Tommy with his identity and said he had to check some of his vitals. The fireman took his pulse, his temperature, and his blood pressure. Tommy mentioned that he was just recovering from a nasty flu that's been going around. "Yeah, nasty one, isn't it?" the fireman replied. "Are you currently on any medication?" he asked. "Yeah, but I’m not sure of the name of it. They're merely antibiotics and a cough medicine with codeine in it. That's about it" Tommy said. The fireman replied "Well, you're running a slight fever and your blood pressure is a bit high." Tommy nodded as if to acknowledge his findings. "Wait here a moment while I talk to the officer. Do you have any questions for me?" said the fireman "Um, no" Tommy said astonishingly. Tommy looked towards the officer and the fireman who were talking while looking back at his direction, and after a brief conversation, he saw the officer nod and walk back towards him. "Sir, after speaking with my superior officer, and based on the fireman's initial evaluation of your present condition, we're going to take you to a facility for further evaluation just to make sure you're okay. It's for your own safety. Do you have a spouse, or a relative or someone we should contact on your behalf ?" the officer asked "Wait a minute …. WHAT ? What the hell do you mean you’re 'taking me to a facility' ?" Tommy said with a sense of urgency "Are you saying that I'm going to a psychiatric ward for a 72-hour evaluation ?!"
"Sir, at this time we need to be certain that you're okay, and the only way to come to that conclusion is to allow professionals who specialize in this area to talk to you and obtain some information, that's all" the officer replied "What about my car ? Where exactly are you taking me ? Can you at least remove the cuffs?" Tommy asked in a bit of a panic. The officer replied "We'll probably have to tow your vehicle due to the parking restrictions in this neighborhood, but we'll let you know where it is. You can make your calls once you're at the facility and yes, the cuffs must remain on until you reach the facility" he said in a monotone manner.
Tommy was placed in the back seat of the patrol car like a common criminal. Once he was in and secured by the seat belt, he looked over at the other police officers standing next to his car, just as the tow truck arrived. As the officer started to get into the patrol car, Tommy noticed a group of folks trying to get a glimpse of the man being hauled off. They wanted to see who the devious man is that was in their quiet and crimeless neighborhood. Being so aggravated by now, Tommy could not refrain from sticking his tongue out at the looky-loo's !
Tommy arrived at a place called Little Company of Mary Hospital. To the left was a smaller wing building with a dull looking moniker; Mental Health Building. Tommy muttered, "Great, now I'm a psycho. What will the neighbors think" The patrol car pulled up to the smaller building, and as Tommy glanced towards the lobby, panic started to set in. Tommy pleaded with the officer "I don't belong here. I wasn't trying to kill myself. Really, you gotta believe me !" His plea fell upon deaf ears.
Once inside, Tommy was allowed to make a few calls, and was given a luke warm, lousy cup of coffee. Looking out the main lobby window, Tommy noticed a Starbucks across the street, and with a sudden burst of levity he asked "Say, what if I just pop over to Starbucks for a cup of Joe, and pick you fellas up something as well. My treat. Are we okay with that?" The officer and the ward clerk looked at him and gave no response.
Tommy was escorted into an exam room, where after a brief interview with one of the doctor's, he was again escorted off to another room where he had to wait for further instructions. Nearly 2-hours have passed and Tommy noticed by the time on the wall lock that it was lunch time. Though he hadn't developed an appetite, he felt he could go for an ice cold Dr. Pepper, the nectar of the gods !
Tommy was allowed to dine in the dinning hall, and it was then when he met a timid, elderly fellow named Martin. Martin was brought in for his apparent attempt in ending is 'personal story', however he had an air about him that for some reason left Tommy in doubts about his admittance in this institution. Martin seemed to stroll around with a degree of quiet confidence, as if he knew something nobody else did. Tommy felt intrigued by his presence.
To be continued ........
With a chuckle of irony, Tommy replied "Now wait a minute, hold on here fellas, I'm NOT a jumper. I'm just enjoying the view. I'm fine, really I'M FINE." The officer wasn't convinced and replied back with a hint of caution in his voice "Okay, okay but you're still dangerously close to the cliff. I'd like for you to walk towards me slowly then, okay? Can you do that for me?" Tommy didn't think twice so he obliged. The officer moved in quickly and within a moment he grabbed Tommy by the arm and led him to the patrol car. Tommy was quickly placed in handcuffs and was told it's "for your own safety". The officer asked why he was standing so dangerously close to the cliff. Tommy replied in a puzzled tone, "well, how did you know I was there in the first place?" "A resident spotted you and thought you could be a jumper. This isn't uncommon in this area" the officer replied. The officer continued "Sir, do you have any identification on you ?" "Um, yeah, it's in my back pocket" Tommy replied. "You don't have any weapons or drugs on you or anything that will poke me do you ?" The officer asked in a stern tone. "What ? No, of course not !" Tommy replied in an equally stern tone. By this time, the levity of all this started to wear off rapidly. The police officer retrieved Tommy's wallet and asked "Are you Tommy T. Gristn ?" Tommy nodded yes. "Okay sir, if you'll wait right here I need to run a routine DMV check on you. One of the firemen is going to come over and check out your vitals and ask you a few questions." Tommy started thinking to himself, how can all of this be happening to me when just a mere 15-minutes ago I was in a trance-like condition, taking in all of what this gorgeous morning had to offer ?
The fireman greeted Tommy with his identity and said he had to check some of his vitals. The fireman took his pulse, his temperature, and his blood pressure. Tommy mentioned that he was just recovering from a nasty flu that's been going around. "Yeah, nasty one, isn't it?" the fireman replied. "Are you currently on any medication?" he asked. "Yeah, but I’m not sure of the name of it. They're merely antibiotics and a cough medicine with codeine in it. That's about it" Tommy said. The fireman replied "Well, you're running a slight fever and your blood pressure is a bit high." Tommy nodded as if to acknowledge his findings. "Wait here a moment while I talk to the officer. Do you have any questions for me?" said the fireman "Um, no" Tommy said astonishingly. Tommy looked towards the officer and the fireman who were talking while looking back at his direction, and after a brief conversation, he saw the officer nod and walk back towards him. "Sir, after speaking with my superior officer, and based on the fireman's initial evaluation of your present condition, we're going to take you to a facility for further evaluation just to make sure you're okay. It's for your own safety. Do you have a spouse, or a relative or someone we should contact on your behalf ?" the officer asked "Wait a minute …. WHAT ? What the hell do you mean you’re 'taking me to a facility' ?" Tommy said with a sense of urgency "Are you saying that I'm going to a psychiatric ward for a 72-hour evaluation ?!"
"Sir, at this time we need to be certain that you're okay, and the only way to come to that conclusion is to allow professionals who specialize in this area to talk to you and obtain some information, that's all" the officer replied "What about my car ? Where exactly are you taking me ? Can you at least remove the cuffs?" Tommy asked in a bit of a panic. The officer replied "We'll probably have to tow your vehicle due to the parking restrictions in this neighborhood, but we'll let you know where it is. You can make your calls once you're at the facility and yes, the cuffs must remain on until you reach the facility" he said in a monotone manner.
Tommy was placed in the back seat of the patrol car like a common criminal. Once he was in and secured by the seat belt, he looked over at the other police officers standing next to his car, just as the tow truck arrived. As the officer started to get into the patrol car, Tommy noticed a group of folks trying to get a glimpse of the man being hauled off. They wanted to see who the devious man is that was in their quiet and crimeless neighborhood. Being so aggravated by now, Tommy could not refrain from sticking his tongue out at the looky-loo's !
Tommy arrived at a place called Little Company of Mary Hospital. To the left was a smaller wing building with a dull looking moniker; Mental Health Building. Tommy muttered, "Great, now I'm a psycho. What will the neighbors think" The patrol car pulled up to the smaller building, and as Tommy glanced towards the lobby, panic started to set in. Tommy pleaded with the officer "I don't belong here. I wasn't trying to kill myself. Really, you gotta believe me !" His plea fell upon deaf ears.
Once inside, Tommy was allowed to make a few calls, and was given a luke warm, lousy cup of coffee. Looking out the main lobby window, Tommy noticed a Starbucks across the street, and with a sudden burst of levity he asked "Say, what if I just pop over to Starbucks for a cup of Joe, and pick you fellas up something as well. My treat. Are we okay with that?" The officer and the ward clerk looked at him and gave no response.
Tommy was escorted into an exam room, where after a brief interview with one of the doctor's, he was again escorted off to another room where he had to wait for further instructions. Nearly 2-hours have passed and Tommy noticed by the time on the wall lock that it was lunch time. Though he hadn't developed an appetite, he felt he could go for an ice cold Dr. Pepper, the nectar of the gods !
Tommy was allowed to dine in the dinning hall, and it was then when he met a timid, elderly fellow named Martin. Martin was brought in for his apparent attempt in ending is 'personal story', however he had an air about him that for some reason left Tommy in doubts about his admittance in this institution. Martin seemed to stroll around with a degree of quiet confidence, as if he knew something nobody else did. Tommy felt intrigued by his presence.
To be continued ........
Safety Pins ...
Generally speaking, what causes us to do the things we ought not to do and not do those we should ?
The torrents of this oddity called love grieves me most times, and the nausea it often causes places great doubt in this feeling that I cannot seem to tame or control ... but thank goodness for the corner liquor store !!
The torrents of this oddity called love grieves me most times, and the nausea it often causes places great doubt in this feeling that I cannot seem to tame or control ... but thank goodness for the corner liquor store !!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Just me
I suppose the best description of me is that I'm nothing more than a humble wall flower, biding my time in some darkened corner where only a few can see the petals from my quiet and seldom bloom.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Reflection: August 2010
The cooling of an early August morn was met with much delight as I sat and watched the fog gently roll into South Bay. Looking up I saw Venus & the Moon give its pearly light until a blanket of fine mist slowly covered my environs, dimming the heavenly lights above. So, I made my way across the sand untrodden with hopes of a good Friday for all.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Coming down off the Mountain
The surface on the early morning lake is iridescent and motionless. It casts a reflection like that of a freshly cleaned mirror, show-casing the image of the snow-capped mountains in the backdrop. The morning air is crisp and a gentle breeze carries a fragrance of pine emanating from the surrounding redwoods while the sound of the wind rustling through the tall timbers sing like that of rushing waters through the thickened wood. Songbirds begin a melodious madrigal that echo’s down the large ravine.
Standing at the water’s edge, I marvel how all around me is perfectly still and devoid of a human soul. I survey the breadth of the range and gaze upon the sun creeping over the Bitterroots. My heart begins to beat like a drum roll and my spirit is sweetly soothed by the grandeur that is set before me.
Suddenley, a few tears drop from my eyes. So many thoughts and emotions overtake me because I've never known such sweet silence or have been in such a vast, unmolested openness. It brings to the forefront the daily strife I regularly encounter living in concrete environs of Los Angeles that's riddled with so many impossible dead lines and excessive crowds and ubiquitous traffic jams. I reckon that my tears derive from the fact that I must return there, to continue in the ineffectual work obligations that I’m tethered to.
However, before I leave this place I will sit here at the water's edge and let my feet dangle in the cool and steady flow of a gentle stream. I'll stroll through the mead that's in full bloom with my hand gently gliding the tops of colored pedals. I'll then hike through the dense forest and touch the bark of the trees and smell the sweet scent of the budding flowers while listening to the crunching of pine needles under my feet as I meander along paths not trodden. There’s a high ridge just up on the other side of the mountain that I will soon reach and when I get there, I plan to just sit for a while.
As the Bible says, I want to “Be still and know He is the Lord”. I want all of the joyous surroundings to imbue my spirit and to fill my outlook with much hope; hope that one day soon I will sojourn in these mountains for the rest of my days.
Standing at the water’s edge, I marvel how all around me is perfectly still and devoid of a human soul. I survey the breadth of the range and gaze upon the sun creeping over the Bitterroots. My heart begins to beat like a drum roll and my spirit is sweetly soothed by the grandeur that is set before me.
Suddenley, a few tears drop from my eyes. So many thoughts and emotions overtake me because I've never known such sweet silence or have been in such a vast, unmolested openness. It brings to the forefront the daily strife I regularly encounter living in concrete environs of Los Angeles that's riddled with so many impossible dead lines and excessive crowds and ubiquitous traffic jams. I reckon that my tears derive from the fact that I must return there, to continue in the ineffectual work obligations that I’m tethered to.
However, before I leave this place I will sit here at the water's edge and let my feet dangle in the cool and steady flow of a gentle stream. I'll stroll through the mead that's in full bloom with my hand gently gliding the tops of colored pedals. I'll then hike through the dense forest and touch the bark of the trees and smell the sweet scent of the budding flowers while listening to the crunching of pine needles under my feet as I meander along paths not trodden. There’s a high ridge just up on the other side of the mountain that I will soon reach and when I get there, I plan to just sit for a while.
As the Bible says, I want to “Be still and know He is the Lord”. I want all of the joyous surroundings to imbue my spirit and to fill my outlook with much hope; hope that one day soon I will sojourn in these mountains for the rest of my days.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
My Hotel California
For the past 5-years, it seems that nothing whatsoever is motivating me in my professional career. It has become dull as a butter knife and I painfully believe now that my career in commercial Real Estate is not my chosen destiny. All seems to a ruse in which I find myself caught up in, like a butterfly caught in a spider’s web. It seems my hands were made for different work yet each day I toil away in Cubicle-ville; more like a laboratory rat continuously hitting the feeder bar for another food pellet. I find myself day-dreaming of spending time much like Thoreau did; sauntering through wooden splendor alone with my thoughts but not to publish or pontificate any specific position but rather, to spend time reflecting on life and to move about at a manageable pace and to free myself from the teathers of modern technology.
Several years ago, I've discovered one universal, immutable truth which is time stands still for nobody (Duh!) and I have lived the majority of my life in this over-populated city toiling in fruitless endeavors with such a quickened pace because each day in the office the battle cry is ‘make haste for there is money to be made!”. After 22-years of running in the hamster wheel I feel that my remaining, healthy years should be spent exploring the natural wonderment's not yet seen by my limited vision here in the concrete environs of Los Angeles. I want to spend forenoons roaming curiously through the thickened and spend early afternoons with books and writings and early evenings again sauntering through the forest as the sun slowly sets into the great invisible and the forest begins a natural lullaby to all her inhabitants. These descriptions are from past experiences when father used to take us on camping trips in the high Sierra’s and in Yosemite. We would hike along rivers and streams and when the wind raced though the tall timbers it was hard to distinguish it from the flowing river. It's no wonder John Muir wrote much about Yosemite. Well, these experiences left an indelible print on me that is only now re-surfacing in my spirit. It feels like an incoming tide that's about to wash away all of the meaningless doodlings I've written in the sands of my time.
IF I were to actually embark on this quest anytime soon it would require me to make a difficult, if not, terrible and irresponsible decision of abandoning all that I have; family, possessions, friendships and the like which I cannot do if I want to maintain any semblance of decency. Long ago when my career was emerging, father once cautioned me about the enticements and trappings corporate life can bring and that I should perhaps carefully re-examine my core values and ensure myself this is the route I want to take. He should know as he knew it all too well. Rubbish, I thought. I had convinced myself that the American standard was to hold a corporate position, married with children, own a home in the suburbs and maintain a good 401K account. SO I THOUGHT.
For now, I tend to go about my affairs in a perfunctory manner, seemingly content to all only to cloak my true inner burning desire for a much different place at a much easier pace. All those around me, both professionally and personally, seem quite content in their state of affairs and haven’t the faintest clue of my yearning for life amongst the redwoods. Oddly enough, the Eagles' lyrics seem to play over in my head; "You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave"
Father, once again you were right as rain.
Several years ago, I've discovered one universal, immutable truth which is time stands still for nobody (Duh!) and I have lived the majority of my life in this over-populated city toiling in fruitless endeavors with such a quickened pace because each day in the office the battle cry is ‘make haste for there is money to be made!”. After 22-years of running in the hamster wheel I feel that my remaining, healthy years should be spent exploring the natural wonderment's not yet seen by my limited vision here in the concrete environs of Los Angeles. I want to spend forenoons roaming curiously through the thickened and spend early afternoons with books and writings and early evenings again sauntering through the forest as the sun slowly sets into the great invisible and the forest begins a natural lullaby to all her inhabitants. These descriptions are from past experiences when father used to take us on camping trips in the high Sierra’s and in Yosemite. We would hike along rivers and streams and when the wind raced though the tall timbers it was hard to distinguish it from the flowing river. It's no wonder John Muir wrote much about Yosemite. Well, these experiences left an indelible print on me that is only now re-surfacing in my spirit. It feels like an incoming tide that's about to wash away all of the meaningless doodlings I've written in the sands of my time.
IF I were to actually embark on this quest anytime soon it would require me to make a difficult, if not, terrible and irresponsible decision of abandoning all that I have; family, possessions, friendships and the like which I cannot do if I want to maintain any semblance of decency. Long ago when my career was emerging, father once cautioned me about the enticements and trappings corporate life can bring and that I should perhaps carefully re-examine my core values and ensure myself this is the route I want to take. He should know as he knew it all too well. Rubbish, I thought. I had convinced myself that the American standard was to hold a corporate position, married with children, own a home in the suburbs and maintain a good 401K account. SO I THOUGHT.
For now, I tend to go about my affairs in a perfunctory manner, seemingly content to all only to cloak my true inner burning desire for a much different place at a much easier pace. All those around me, both professionally and personally, seem quite content in their state of affairs and haven’t the faintest clue of my yearning for life amongst the redwoods. Oddly enough, the Eagles' lyrics seem to play over in my head; "You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave"
Father, once again you were right as rain.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Nostalgic America
I've had dreams lately, often about the same thing, when I was in my youth. Those were good times. Proper times. I used to deliver groceries on my bicycle after school. It was a fun and easy job. At delivery time, it didn't matter if the customer was home because nobody ever locked their doors. I'd just walk in the back door and deliver the groceries. At the end of the day, the manager would reach into his pocket and pay me and the other delivery boys in cash. We never counted the money because nobody ever cheated.
We were Americans; We knew and trusted each other.
That was indeed a long time ago.
We were Americans; We knew and trusted each other.
That was indeed a long time ago.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Sound bites on me ......
I wish I could write lucidly
It sometimes hurts to write honestly of myself
I yearn to write correctly
I loathe my ineffectual words & admire those of others
I'm sometimes viewed as a recluse
I love my family
I'm usually quiet but have many thoughts swimming in my mind
I don't always answer deep questions right away
I'm not comfortable in large crowds
I often thumb through my collection of antique bibles in 12 different languages
I tend to have a short attention span
I surf very confidently - one of the few things I'm confident of
I dream of leaving the big city far behind
I prefer to snack rather than dine
I don't own a PDA device as I refuse to be tethered
I seldomly watch TV
I'd say that my favorite movie is A River Runs Though It
I could spend hours in a book store
I enjoy riding my motorcycle along the coast on a sunny Sunday afternoon
I take my dog Chip for a walk each night then spoil him w/ treats
I sometimes wonder why God loves me
I'm hoping to climb Kilamanjaro in the summer of 2010 - all depends on the market
I have a tendency to speak in a condescending manner when I'm annoyed
I wish I had a true friend who would listen when I express thought & emotion
I cherish running at 3am along the beach
I can be complicated but I'm a product of childhood experiences (aren't we all!)
I really enjoy reading YOUR Blogs. Really, I do. I admire the folks who write in here.
I really wrote this for myself as I was sitting here in my study pondering - Who am I ? So, I just jotted a few random thoughts down and for some odd reason, I felt a pleasant ease. Hmmm.
It sometimes hurts to write honestly of myself
I yearn to write correctly
I loathe my ineffectual words & admire those of others
I'm sometimes viewed as a recluse
I love my family
I'm usually quiet but have many thoughts swimming in my mind
I don't always answer deep questions right away
I'm not comfortable in large crowds
I often thumb through my collection of antique bibles in 12 different languages
I tend to have a short attention span
I surf very confidently - one of the few things I'm confident of
I dream of leaving the big city far behind
I prefer to snack rather than dine
I don't own a PDA device as I refuse to be tethered
I seldomly watch TV
I'd say that my favorite movie is A River Runs Though It
I could spend hours in a book store
I enjoy riding my motorcycle along the coast on a sunny Sunday afternoon
I take my dog Chip for a walk each night then spoil him w/ treats
I sometimes wonder why God loves me
I'm hoping to climb Kilamanjaro in the summer of 2010 - all depends on the market
I have a tendency to speak in a condescending manner when I'm annoyed
I wish I had a true friend who would listen when I express thought & emotion
I cherish running at 3am along the beach
I can be complicated but I'm a product of childhood experiences (aren't we all!)
I really enjoy reading YOUR Blogs. Really, I do. I admire the folks who write in here.
I really wrote this for myself as I was sitting here in my study pondering - Who am I ? So, I just jotted a few random thoughts down and for some odd reason, I felt a pleasant ease. Hmmm.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Friends, wine and a surprising deep query .....
I was asked (due in part of my faith) if I think God really cares about people. Well, let's see.
It seems to me God tends to get a bad rap because of our own misguided deeds. People starving in the world "How can God let that happen?" Children suffering of starvation; Same response Increasing violence in the world "Why doesn't God stop it" on and on and on the questions came coming.
WHY GOD WHY ?
Valid questions indeed but if we really examine each situation closely, perhaps some of these are direct byproducts of our own selfish attitudes and actions. Do we all have a little Veruca Salt in us?
Hey, what about me ?
I want my share .....
But I too deserve .....
It's not fair that they .....
How come I can't ........
What do you mean I can't have it now ?
I can't even imagine what God endures on a daily basis. Consider some prayers God may hear on a daily basis;
A prayer from someone complaining about not having a mate and how unfair it is
A prayer from a mother beseeching God for food for her starving children
A prayer from another to win the lottery and promising to give some back IF they win
A prayer from a child asking that daddy won't hit mommy & me anymore
A prayer from someone seeking strength when they just found out they have cancer
A prayer for that new fancy car they've been wanting for so long
Thank goodness that none of us are the recipient of these prayers as we would use our own judgements on which prayer to answer and which ones to deny. Thankfully God loves each one of us and regardless of our short-comings, He wants nothing but the very best for each of us. That doesn't mean He will always say yes or say yes in OUR timing. I think we sometimes view God no different than a waiter in a restaurant. We give our order and if it doesn't come as soon as we expected it we tend to become frustrated, even angered, looking around for the waiter to ask what's taking so long with my order. We cannot see what goes on in the kitchen - all the preparations etc .... Perhaps it takes a bit longer to prepare our order to make sure it's done just right so that we may fully enjoy it. Could the same apply with God ? Making sure all is prepared properly for our complete enjoyment of God's blessing?
I suppose with all of the current events in the world it's easy to blame God. After all He is God and He can stop everything right ? Well, true but then our limited ability cannot see the full purposes of God. I do believe we have the ability to use prayer and action to make noticeable differences in the world. We cannot rid the world of all its problems but it seems to me that each one of us can contribute by taking the time to love & help others where we can. I suppose the best we can bestow to one another is unconditional love & forgiveness (which can prove to be too difficult for some) thus slowly pull away from our own wants in life and allowing a peace that surpasses all understanding to imbue our every-day walk in life.
I reckon some will not like agree with my view and may suggest that I'm somewhat narrow-minded but that's okay. Really, I'm okay with that because we're all entitled to our opinions and beliefs however, I love God and I can't help but sigh when I hear of all the things we blame God for. It's as though I picture God saying to deafened ears "I love you all so much and these horrible things in the world are not my doing or my wish for you but it doesn't mean that I can't use it for good either". When I read of God's love and purposes for us, it's laced with love and peace and though sometimes we encounter rough times, sometimes the reaction is it's God's fault. We cannot see or comprehend God's purposes; we can speculate but that's as far as it can go and no matter how much we validate it in our own mind it doesn't mean we're right. I try earnestly to rely on Faith.
This piece took some thought as I had to start with the man in the mirror (sorry but MJ for stealing your line) and view my own faults and frailties. God help and forgive us all for the many injustices we seem to inflict upon each other.
Prescott & Nadia; The summary above hopefully provides my perspective on the some of the questions you posed a few nights ago over that fine bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. I'm sorry it took me a while to respond but some questions I cannot answer on-the-spot without taking time to ponder such deep questions so that I can hopefully tender a seemingly lucid response.
Best,
It seems to me God tends to get a bad rap because of our own misguided deeds. People starving in the world "How can God let that happen?" Children suffering of starvation; Same response Increasing violence in the world "Why doesn't God stop it" on and on and on the questions came coming.
WHY GOD WHY ?
Valid questions indeed but if we really examine each situation closely, perhaps some of these are direct byproducts of our own selfish attitudes and actions. Do we all have a little Veruca Salt in us?
Hey, what about me ?
I want my share .....
But I too deserve .....
It's not fair that they .....
How come I can't ........
What do you mean I can't have it now ?
I can't even imagine what God endures on a daily basis. Consider some prayers God may hear on a daily basis;
A prayer from someone complaining about not having a mate and how unfair it is
A prayer from a mother beseeching God for food for her starving children
A prayer from another to win the lottery and promising to give some back IF they win
A prayer from a child asking that daddy won't hit mommy & me anymore
A prayer from someone seeking strength when they just found out they have cancer
A prayer for that new fancy car they've been wanting for so long
Thank goodness that none of us are the recipient of these prayers as we would use our own judgements on which prayer to answer and which ones to deny. Thankfully God loves each one of us and regardless of our short-comings, He wants nothing but the very best for each of us. That doesn't mean He will always say yes or say yes in OUR timing. I think we sometimes view God no different than a waiter in a restaurant. We give our order and if it doesn't come as soon as we expected it we tend to become frustrated, even angered, looking around for the waiter to ask what's taking so long with my order. We cannot see what goes on in the kitchen - all the preparations etc .... Perhaps it takes a bit longer to prepare our order to make sure it's done just right so that we may fully enjoy it. Could the same apply with God ? Making sure all is prepared properly for our complete enjoyment of God's blessing?
I suppose with all of the current events in the world it's easy to blame God. After all He is God and He can stop everything right ? Well, true but then our limited ability cannot see the full purposes of God. I do believe we have the ability to use prayer and action to make noticeable differences in the world. We cannot rid the world of all its problems but it seems to me that each one of us can contribute by taking the time to love & help others where we can. I suppose the best we can bestow to one another is unconditional love & forgiveness (which can prove to be too difficult for some) thus slowly pull away from our own wants in life and allowing a peace that surpasses all understanding to imbue our every-day walk in life.
I reckon some will not like agree with my view and may suggest that I'm somewhat narrow-minded but that's okay. Really, I'm okay with that because we're all entitled to our opinions and beliefs however, I love God and I can't help but sigh when I hear of all the things we blame God for. It's as though I picture God saying to deafened ears "I love you all so much and these horrible things in the world are not my doing or my wish for you but it doesn't mean that I can't use it for good either". When I read of God's love and purposes for us, it's laced with love and peace and though sometimes we encounter rough times, sometimes the reaction is it's God's fault. We cannot see or comprehend God's purposes; we can speculate but that's as far as it can go and no matter how much we validate it in our own mind it doesn't mean we're right. I try earnestly to rely on Faith.
This piece took some thought as I had to start with the man in the mirror (sorry but MJ for stealing your line) and view my own faults and frailties. God help and forgive us all for the many injustices we seem to inflict upon each other.
Prescott & Nadia; The summary above hopefully provides my perspective on the some of the questions you posed a few nights ago over that fine bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon. I'm sorry it took me a while to respond but some questions I cannot answer on-the-spot without taking time to ponder such deep questions so that I can hopefully tender a seemingly lucid response.
Best,
Friday, March 13, 2009
A lighter side on Pay-Day Friday !
SUCCESS
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
MARRIAGE:
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight honey?
She said - That's a great idea... you go in the kitchen and do the dishes
while I sit on the sofa w/ the remote and fart.
ENGLISH REVIEWED
Let's face it -- English is a mad language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem odd that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history, but not a single annnal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Send shipments by car and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
One must marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by turning on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race(which, of course, isn't a race at all). That's why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it ... Indeed a mad world !
A lighter side for a "Pay-Day Friday" .....the above is not my work of course. Had I the time and effort to conjure these up I would have been found in my chair w/ a self-inflicted gunshot wound to my melon .... CHEERS
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
MARRIAGE:
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight honey?
She said - That's a great idea... you go in the kitchen and do the dishes
while I sit on the sofa w/ the remote and fart.
ENGLISH REVIEWED
Let's face it -- English is a mad language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem odd that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history, but not a single annnal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Send shipments by car and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
One must marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by turning on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race(which, of course, isn't a race at all). That's why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it ... Indeed a mad world !
A lighter side for a "Pay-Day Friday" .....the above is not my work of course. Had I the time and effort to conjure these up I would have been found in my chair w/ a self-inflicted gunshot wound to my melon .... CHEERS
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Adieu !
I believe it is time for me to bid farewell and to say & type no more thus vanish beneath the underbrush of a quiet moonlit night ....... In other words - I'm gonna lay low for a bit. Blogging is fun but I need to finish my DAG GUM book I started writing two years ago ...
Saturday, March 7, 2009
SATURDAY MORNING RANT ......
Pissy, Pissy Pissy !!
Yup, that's my morning thus far. Maybe if I stop and think (hard as it may seem) for a moment perhaps I can uncover the impetus of my sour mood. Hmmmmm, Let see, is it;
Because I didn't run this morning?
The surf sucked and I really wanted to paddle out ?
I have no motivation to study for the stupid LEED exam (don't get me started on this one!)
I'm out of spray cheese and Dr.Pepper (DP = Nectar of the Gods)
I'm surrounded by folks who are spoon-fed their values & intelligence from PR firms & TV
My contact lenses are dried out !
My motorcycle is STILL in the shop (could have one custom made by now!!)
Stone Soup was a bit dull this morning (a comic strip in the LA Times)
I often feel I reside in a society of Veruca Salt's
EVERYBODY STOP TALKING ALL AT ONCE ! (thank you)
I don't wanna study today ... I just wanna lounge around in my underpants & eat snacky foods
Sometimes our actions re-confirm my sick notion that people are simply Darwinism-In-Reverse !
Someone left a mere strip of tissue when it was my turn for the toilet
OR
perhaps I'm just being an ASS ...... No worries, I'll build a bridge and get over it soon enough. In the meantime, does anyone have a pacifer and warm milk ? CHEERS !
Yup, that's my morning thus far. Maybe if I stop and think (hard as it may seem) for a moment perhaps I can uncover the impetus of my sour mood. Hmmmmm, Let see, is it;
Because I didn't run this morning?
The surf sucked and I really wanted to paddle out ?
I have no motivation to study for the stupid LEED exam (don't get me started on this one!)
I'm out of spray cheese and Dr.Pepper (DP = Nectar of the Gods)
I'm surrounded by folks who are spoon-fed their values & intelligence from PR firms & TV
My contact lenses are dried out !
My motorcycle is STILL in the shop (could have one custom made by now!!)
Stone Soup was a bit dull this morning (a comic strip in the LA Times)
I often feel I reside in a society of Veruca Salt's
EVERYBODY STOP TALKING ALL AT ONCE ! (thank you)
I don't wanna study today ... I just wanna lounge around in my underpants & eat snacky foods
Sometimes our actions re-confirm my sick notion that people are simply Darwinism-In-Reverse !
Someone left a mere strip of tissue when it was my turn for the toilet
OR
perhaps I'm just being an ASS ...... No worries, I'll build a bridge and get over it soon enough. In the meantime, does anyone have a pacifer and warm milk ? CHEERS !
Friday, March 6, 2009
Poli Pop
Seems that folks in these parts yesterday (3/5) were really caught up with the Prop 8 issue because of the hearings with the California Supreme Court and it appears the court is on the periphery of upholding the initiative considering that it achieved the required 52% of the votes last November. Seems everyone I encountered yesterday had a strong opinion on the issue. Some were very vocal. Some of the opinions I heard had merit and seemed lucid enough while some were up on their soap box pontificating to any available ear. Candidly, I loathe when folks start in with their half-informed rants when I didn't ask for their opinion in the first place. Anyway, I was continually asked what my position was and where I stand on it. I declined each time I was asked as I didn’t see it necessary to engage in some sort of debate, not to mention they would quickly lose ground with me thanks to years spent on my college Forensics Team. Truthfully, I'd just like to see the end of the media blitz surrounding this issue. So, instead of answering anyone I decided to write my view here since my entries usually go unread. I'm in favor of Prop 8. I believe that marriage is between a man and a woman. Aside from pro-creation, I believe this is it was always intended to be, however I do not harbor any ill feelings towards any person(s) who earnestly wish for a reversal of Prop 8.
There was much debate over inalienable rights in regards to its specific definition towards a specific application. It was pleasing to hear the justices speaking in unison that these inalienable rights are afforded to all citizens through a democratic process in which we the people have the right to govern ourselves though our party affiliation and government leaders we appoint through the voting process. It seems to me that one of the greatest inalienable rights is our right to vote. If Prop 8 is reversed my view would remain the same however I would accept it, without regret, as part of our democratic process.
I sincerely hope this matter concludes soon because it seems both sides of the initiative have fervently spent and continue to spend a considerable amount of money & resources on this issue. Seems to me that that we should apply the same amount of attention on aiding homeless & hungry children, battered women and children and a host of other humanitarian issues where real assistance & resources are greatly needed.
I hope that this is not construed as hateful because I am not. Candidly, I am saddened and very embarrassed by some folks who parade under the guise of ‘Christianity’ and conduct themselves in mean and disrespectful ways towards opponents of Prop 8. ALL folks should be treated with much love, kindness and respect regardless of their views because I don’t recall reading any passages in scripture where Jesus was disparaging towards sinners He encountered.
In the end, though I agree with the Prop 8 initiative I cannot condone the radical things I heard yesterday from a few ‘conservatives' that I unfortunately encountered. With one particular group of folks that I know, they found it necessary to press me for some validation and input but the only response I could muster was “I don’t know about you folks but I recall reading a passage of scripture when Jesus said to the religious leaders of his time; ‘Let him who is without sin cast the first stone’ Needless to say, a hush fell over this pious group and faces suddenly became somber. It amazes me how the name of Jesus will either cause a storm or calm a storm.
So, I merely smiled, wished them well and went humbly about my day. Gezz, I'm forever a dork.
There was much debate over inalienable rights in regards to its specific definition towards a specific application. It was pleasing to hear the justices speaking in unison that these inalienable rights are afforded to all citizens through a democratic process in which we the people have the right to govern ourselves though our party affiliation and government leaders we appoint through the voting process. It seems to me that one of the greatest inalienable rights is our right to vote. If Prop 8 is reversed my view would remain the same however I would accept it, without regret, as part of our democratic process.
I sincerely hope this matter concludes soon because it seems both sides of the initiative have fervently spent and continue to spend a considerable amount of money & resources on this issue. Seems to me that that we should apply the same amount of attention on aiding homeless & hungry children, battered women and children and a host of other humanitarian issues where real assistance & resources are greatly needed.
I hope that this is not construed as hateful because I am not. Candidly, I am saddened and very embarrassed by some folks who parade under the guise of ‘Christianity’ and conduct themselves in mean and disrespectful ways towards opponents of Prop 8. ALL folks should be treated with much love, kindness and respect regardless of their views because I don’t recall reading any passages in scripture where Jesus was disparaging towards sinners He encountered.
In the end, though I agree with the Prop 8 initiative I cannot condone the radical things I heard yesterday from a few ‘conservatives' that I unfortunately encountered. With one particular group of folks that I know, they found it necessary to press me for some validation and input but the only response I could muster was “I don’t know about you folks but I recall reading a passage of scripture when Jesus said to the religious leaders of his time; ‘Let him who is without sin cast the first stone’ Needless to say, a hush fell over this pious group and faces suddenly became somber. It amazes me how the name of Jesus will either cause a storm or calm a storm.
So, I merely smiled, wished them well and went humbly about my day. Gezz, I'm forever a dork.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Painting .....
Standing and deeply gazing at the heavens above,
I noticed a deep and darkened sky peppered with
motionless clouds scattered all about.
First, a radiant orange from the rising sun
aureoles the high-above cumulus clouds.
Then, the vast cerulean sky is revealed.
Staring at the majesty unfolding before me, I gleefully
watched the hand of God, painting beautiful and lasting strokes.
I noticed that my heart beating faster than usual.
At the bus stop, the early morning traffic is rushing
to and fro; a painful reminder that I make my home
in a big city, far from rural & peaceful settings.
The line to board the 6am bus had grown considerably.
They pay no mind to the joyous handy work of God.
IPods, Blackberry's and cell phones have once again
seized a wonderful piece of time; I look again and none
in line seem to notice or seem to care about this unfolding.
Thank you, for I indeed was watching,
feeling and enjoying the sheer goodness
of your every-day blessing.
I noticed a deep and darkened sky peppered with
motionless clouds scattered all about.
First, a radiant orange from the rising sun
aureoles the high-above cumulus clouds.
Then, the vast cerulean sky is revealed.
Staring at the majesty unfolding before me, I gleefully
watched the hand of God, painting beautiful and lasting strokes.
I noticed that my heart beating faster than usual.
At the bus stop, the early morning traffic is rushing
to and fro; a painful reminder that I make my home
in a big city, far from rural & peaceful settings.
The line to board the 6am bus had grown considerably.
They pay no mind to the joyous handy work of God.
IPods, Blackberry's and cell phones have once again
seized a wonderful piece of time; I look again and none
in line seem to notice or seem to care about this unfolding.
Thank you, for I indeed was watching,
feeling and enjoying the sheer goodness
of your every-day blessing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)